Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales - Review

What a fitting title. After walking out of the theatre, I can officially say that the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise is dead. A huge disappointment. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is my favourite movie ever made. Yes, it's true! Even above Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope. The sequels, while entertaining, did not live up to the first film. It's a shame that the final film in this franchise might just be the worst. People have been complaining about the characters, the story, the action, the plot holes, etc. but in my mind, there is only one glaring problem with this movie. That problem is that it lacks charisma, heart, and spark. When you heard that Pirates of the Caribbean theme song in the first film and Jack Sparrow is sword fighting Will Turner, it is absolutely epic. "This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!" That line alone is better than most of this movie. I was only on the edge of my seat for one brief moment in this movie. There was a heist scene with (SPOILERS - but then again, I suggest you skip this movie) a guillotine and Jack Sparrow almost getting killed. It was one of the best scenes in the franchise. I was smiling and thinking, "Yes! This movie is going to be awesome! They know how to make Pirates fun again." Too bad it was only that scene. I didn't care about Henry Turner or this Carina l that is obviously a "Women can do anything" type of character shoved down our throats. Yes, women can do anything, but sorry movie, this is not the type of movie to shove a feminist rhetoric down the audience's throats. Just have her do awesome stuff like Elizabeth Swann did in the first movie. Oh wait, they don't. I didn't like how they brought back Barbossa, I didn't like that they again had the East India Trading Company come back and they had some sort of witch character, and I didn't care about Captain Salazar. His backstory was kind of cool, but nothing really comes of it. But by far the biggest let down was Jack Sparrow. Back to my point about how there was no charisma left in this franchise, it's because I don't think the filmmakers know who Jack Sparrow is. He was an amazing character because not only was he hilarious in his dialogue and although he may seem like a bumbling idiot, he was always two steps ahead of everyone else. "That is the best pirate I have ever seen." He could create these elaborate plans with so many double crosses that he is the smartest in every room he is in. However, these filmmakers believe that he should be more drunk and silly than smart and witty. Jack Sparrow was annoying here. That is your biggest flaw right there. The character you are supposed to love and tag along with on this journey is no longer the character you fell in love with in the first place. I warn you, my friends, these be shallow waters and yee best be sailing back! Stick to the first film, and "take whatcha can, and give nothing back!"