Thomas and the Magic Railroad - Review

I was having a fairly bad day not too long ago, so I decided I would watch a film from my childhood. Not a movie like Spider-Man or Harry Potter which I watched when I was in elementary school, I wanted to watch a movie from when I was a toddler. When I was super young, Thomas and the Magic Railroad was the most awesome movie ever. Now, I knew that it wasn't going to hold up, but I decided to take a look back and maybe bring back some smiles from my youth. What I got, was more tears. I have no idea why my parents allowed my sister and I to watch something like this. Well, okay there is nothing really insulting in it or anything really harmful to children. However, you can clearly tell that this film was catering to minds of little intelligence. Which is weird to say because this film is suprisingly complicated. As a kid, I did not know who Alec Baldwin, or Peter Fonda was. After growing up and seeing these two well-respected actors act in other projects, all I was thinking was, "Man, how badly did their agents screw up that they allowed their clients to be in this movie." Sure, they must have been paid pretty handsomely for it, but I'm sure that ate into the film's entire budget because all of the other actors, the sets, and the soundtrack (oh god the Shining time song is one of the most laughable things ever) feels extremely cheap. You have Alec Baldwin really overacting, Peter Fonda trying way too hard, making him feel very out of place, and a bunch of trains who's mouths don't move. This is a recipe for a film that just feels wrong. I rarely throw my arms up in the air during a movie or place my face in my hands and shake my head in disgust. This movie had me doing that constantly. Now I know I shouldn't really be expecting much from a Thomas the Tank Engine movie, but I am of the belief that any property can be turned into a good movie if given the right amount of effort and creativity. Nobody thought Pirates of the Caribbean was going to work because, "How can you base a movie off of a theme park ride?" Well, the filmmakers were determined to make a great movie and had a creative script. Now, it's a multi-billion dollar franchise. As for something like Thomas the Tank Engine, it's clear that this movie was going to be for kids. So if that's the case, drop all the crap with the conspiracy theories of gold dust and lost steam engines and get rid of the sulking old grandpa and the needlessly complex story. Make a story about Thomas the Tank Engine doing his duty on the island of Sodor, you can keep the message that "little engines can do big things" and have some respect for children's intelligence. There is a reason why Disney movies have stood the test of time and there is a clear reason why this film is long forgotten. I'm sure Alec Baldwin would love this film removed from his IMDb resume.